About healing inner conflict

“Once you understand the four mechanisms that determine why different parts of your ‘self’ do disturbing behaviours, then you can begin to compassionately change your behaviours in a sustainable way”

Our counsellors get the most fulfilment and satisfaction by helping people become ’emotionally independent’. This means that they are able to meet their own needs emotionally so that relationships with others are out of choice not out of fear of loss. ‘ Healing Inner Conflict’ is a method that has developed over the last  20 years that has been the most effective for individuals, couples and families, providing the tools to bring about change in a very real and sustainable way.

How Healing Inner Conflict (HIC) works

HIC is a simple and effective way to begin to understand the four mechanics of why we do what we do, internally or externally … especially when it doesn’t make any sense in present moment context, like hurting the ones we love. These inner or outer behaviours like criticism, name calling etc are usually very disturbing both to ourselves and when we are like that with others. These disturbances are signals of healing trying to happen. In other words, not something going wrong, rather something trying to go right.

Using the HIC  Eight floor card template, I can help you understand what all the different parts of you are doing so that you can get a handle on what is happening in present moment context and what is happening internally that usually only makes sense in an early childhood context. These are moments when you get triggered. Being able to intervene when you are triggered is what allows you to change the way you think, feel and act.

Achieving your goals

The counsellors at both practices are able to offer results that are sustainable because they can teach you how to follow the signals of disturbance that you notice. They use a  simple, easy to follow 8 floor card template that’s a bit like playing Twister only with your own inner workings. You will be able to get a handle on what the purpose of the disturbance is, even though it seems like a ‘fly in the ointment’ of your life in a very short period of time.

By bringing understanding into areas that have remained a mystery, in the form of repetitive patterns in your inner or outer life, you will be able to move forward in a sustainable way. Able to meet the challenges of life with effective tools. This process usually takes a matter of weeks, as opposed to years.

Natural simplicity

All of the methods used in HIC are based on the simplicity of the natural world. In the same way that there are developmental stages in the life cycle, so too the four most common disturbing internal mechanisms match these stages.

Child mechanism  an internal override of unique expression.
Adolescent mechanism an attempt to override Externally.
Adult mechanism an override of the  Adolescent Mechanism.
Self-Medication/Distraction an attempt to override seemingly overwhelming feelings.

Once you begin to notice how these mechanisms work, you can change them.

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